My dad just dropped a bowl of pasta on the floor and it went everywhere, and he stared at it for like 5 minutes, sighed and then said ‘sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead’ and then he walked off without cleaning it up.
I told my dad a post about him has nearly 40k notes and he told me that he doesn’t understand what ‘tumblrering’ is but he doesn’t want to be involved in my lonely shenanigans.
i farted in the apple store and everyone got mad but it wasnt my fault they don’t have Windows
if i had a dollar for every time u annoyed me
When you stretch and your inner porn star moan comes out by accident
booty booty booty booty rocking every pear
young Carrie Hope Fletcher as Little Red Riding Hood in a Honey Nut Cheerios commercial (x)
How was I SO cute then? I’m nothing like that now!